CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The Twins of Good and Evil

Mr Utterson was shocked and amazed by Lanyon's letter. He now understood that Henry Jekyll had not poisoned Hyde and disappeared. Yet, he also knew that he could not possibly tell this to the police, his family, his servants or anyone. The world would learn that the murderer, Mr Hyde, was dead, but they would never learn what had happened to Dr Jekyll or why he had disappeared. The people of London would never see either man again, but these men would never, even for an hour, leave Mr Utterson's thoughts.

Utterson was afraid to know how all these terrible things had come about, but he realized that he had already learned too much to stop now. Like Lanyon, he had seen things and was now part of the affair. Therefore, with shaking hands, he opened the envelope that Jekyll had left him and began to read the doctor's words:

"I, Henry Jekyll, was born in a family with much money and good name. I was very interested in my studies from an early age. If I had a serious fault, it was that I enjoyed having fun and sometimes became careless: often I only wanted to have fun. But I hid my carelessness deep inside my heart, because I desired the respect of all men and wanted to become a man of good name. Thus, beginning in my early youth, I began to live two different lives.

My youthful fun and hidden actions were actually not especially bad. In fact, many men have also had high spirits and occasionally done small criminal acts. But I was from a good family and learned to have very high views of myself. I felt ashamed of even the smallest faults in my soul. I hid my faults and bad deeds. I could not let my family and friends know of them. Hiding my actions caused me great unhappiness. Because of this, I spent much time thinking about the souls and desires of man in general.

I could not become someone I was not. When I worked day after day to do charitable action, and to cure the pain of my patients, I was Henry Jekyll. When I did wrong or horrible things, I was also Mr Jekyll. My studies in science have led me to this truth: a man is not just one person, but actually two. And these two men inside of us each have a voice, and each wishes to take control. But I have only discovered part of the secret. Perhaps scientists in the future will discover that a man is not only two men, but many men.

Long before I began my scientific experiments to prove the 'two-ness' of men, I dreamed about it. I wished deeply to separate these two men of good and evil inside me, and give each man a body to control. Then I would no longer feel the unhappiness of fighting the evil man inside me. If I could separate the two men inside me, the good twin could walk with a true heart, doing good deeds, and no longer have to fight with the terrible feelings caused by his evil side. The evil twin would become free as well. He could do what he wanted, without being challenged by his good self. The fight between the two sides of man could then end. A man would be free to be both people inside him.

When I began my experiments in my laboratory, I discovered that some mixtures of drugs had the effect of changing a man's skin and body; these drugs could change the very size of a man! I will not write down which drug and medicines I used for two reasons: The first reason is that I never completed my experiments, as this letter will later explain. I was not able to completely divide the good and evil inside me. My second reason is that I now understand that we cannot throw away the problems in our lives and make them disappear. A man cannot always be happy. When we try, even more unhappiness returns to trouble us.

For many months, I could not decide if I should test my laboratory experiments on myself. I knew well that I risked death. But in the end, since the liquid that would change me was ready, I could not resist. I had dreamed of this possibility for so long and worked so hard; I had to see if my experiment was a success. I bought the last ingredient—a large quantity of a certain white salt.

Late one night, I mixed these ingredients. They smoked and changed into many wild colors. I held that first glass in my hand for a long time, staring at it and imagining what might happen to me if I drank it; I knew it might mean death to drink it. But then a strange courage filled me and I quickly drank it down.

Horrible pains ran through my body. I felt ill, and then strange. I feared that my death would soon come. But then these feelings disappeared, and I then felt better, as if I had just recovered from a long illness ... but with a difference! I felt younger, happier, and even lighter in weight! A new, sweet feeling filled me. I felt free to do anything I wanted, even the most terrible things! I could let all the desires that I had hidden inside my heart come out. The feeling was like a strong wine, and I lifted my arms to the sky in welcome.

When I moved my arms, I realized that my jacket was now covering my hands. I had become smaller! At that time, I did not have a mirror in my office, though I later bought one. I could not let my servants see me so I walked through the house as quietly as a thief. Once I was safe in my own room, I looked in the mirror and saw Edward Hyde for the first time.

Let me now give you my ideas, as a scientist, on why Hyde was younger and smaller than Jekyll. Hyde, and all my evil desires, had been hidden inside me for most of my life. Because of this, his body had experienced less activity, for most of the twins' life, Jekyll had worked hard and his body had suffered and become old. Now Jekyll was a tired, old man, whereas Hyde was still young, ready to begin his life of evil.

I stared in the mirror for many minutes studying my new body; I could see that there was a deep evil in Hyde's face. But he did not disgust me. I welcomed him. Hyde, too, was my self. Hyde was natural and human like all of us. In many ways I thought he was better than human, because he was not a divided person. He had a single soul.

I quickly realized that everyone who met Hyde immediately felt dislike for him. There is a reason for this. All human beings are both good and evil, but Hyde, alone, was pure evil, and people could feel this in their hearts.

I did not dare to stay long at the mirror. I hurried back to my office, prepared the mixture again and drank it. I felt the same pain and then Henry Jekyll returned. That was the beginning of my life with Hyde.

Perhaps if I had a different aim in my experiments, things would have gone differently. I did not realize that Jekyll would continue to be a mix of good and evil, while Hyde was all evil. I had aimed to make Jekyll a man of pure good, but he still had all the faults and problems that he did before. As Jekyll, I began to need Hyde more and more and my life became worse and worse.

From that time on, I often changed between Jekyll and Hyde. When I became bored with medicine and science and my old and ordinary friends, I could instantly have the freedom of youth as Hyde. I became Hyde's servant in a way, but I loved it.

I rented a room for Hyde and bought him clothing. I described him to my servants, and told them that he was to be obeyed, and that he could use the house whenever I was gone. I even gave Hyde a good future, by leaving him all my money in a will that surprised you so much, Utterson.

So I became happy, because I could live without the freedom of doubt. Hyde could do evil things, without feeling bad afterwards. Whatever terrible crime Hyde did, he could always be safe a moment later. He would turn into Henry Jekyll, a man with a good name who no one would suspect. So, evil, drunken, and horrible in every way, I ran wild over London as Edward Hyde.

Of course, Hyde could not always escape from his bad deeds. This first happened the night that he knocked down a small girl. He was surrounded by her family and many other people and he feared for his safety. Finally, he paid them enough money to make them leave him. Unfortunately he had to use a check with Jekyll's signature. The next day I opened a checking account for Hyde by changing my handwriting. Thus, he would always have money when he needed it. About two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew, I had come home from a night out as Hyde. Usually, I returned to Hyde's home and went to sleep as Hyde. But this night Jekyll had an early morning appointment with a patient the next day. So I changed back to Jekyll, and slept at the doctor's house.

In the morning I woke very early, and could not remember for a moment where I was. I almost expected to see the furnishings of Hyde's room. When I got out of bed, I saw that my hand was lean and covered with dark hair. It looked almost like a monkey's hand. But Jekyll's hand was large, clean, and white. A terrible feeling passed through me! I jumped out of bed and ran to the mirror. My fear was true!

I had gone to sleep as Henry Jekyll and, without drinking the special liquid; I had awakened as Edward Hyde! I could not understand how this could have happened. But I had no time to think about it. My patient would come soon and I needed to become Jekyll again quickly.

By this time, all my servants were awake and working, and the medicines and drugs I needed were in my office on the other side of the house. I could cover my face, but the servants would still see how short I was. Then I realized that if any of the servants did see me, they would only be surprised at seeing Hyde in a part of the house he did not usually go into. So, I dressed in Hyde's clothes and walked quickly to the laboratory with a thin smile on my lips, for as Hyde, I was braver than Jekyll had ever been!"

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